Ellieisms (or random funny Ellie stories)

The other day we were looking for the DVD remote, and I asked "Has anyone seen the remote?" Eleanor answered "Yes!" and then said "it was on the sofa, then it was in the kitchen, then it was in the bathroom, and now it's lost."
At the Jacobs Circus someone is always trying to locate something they've misplaced. I've posted before about Eleanor's less than helpful input when we're looking for something. When she did it again the other day, I realized something. When asking Eleanor if she knows where something is, never ask "Have you seen X", rather ask her directly if she know where X is right now. Because if you ask her if she's seen it, the answer is likely "yes," she has seen it, many times, in fact. When she gives a list of all of the places she's seen it, "on the sofa, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, under the bed," and then ends the list with "but now it's lost" she's only answering the question she was asked.

I haven't posted before about Ellie's embarrassing fascination with the names of body parts and with bodily functions, because they're usually too gross to mention, but this one cracked me up.
We were visiting at the house of some friends who were hosting a celebration in honor of their son's 16th birthday. Ellie was seated next to the dad as he was busy putting candles on the cake, and she leaned over to him and said "Hey, listen to this" (pause) "PP and Jam!" and then she just cackled so loud everyone around was laughing with her. Get it, not PB and Jam, but PP and Jam. I don't even know where she got that one.

OK, I have one more that might not translate well, but I'll give it a try. Ellie frequently, when asked to do something, will invent some reason why she can't do it. I've come to expect it, so when I say "Ellie, it's time to clean up this paper mess" I expect her to immediately say "My arms hurt too bad" or something of the sort. The other day she had a bunch of toys all over the living room that she was finished with and I said "Ellie, it's time to pick up this mess." She immediately said "Ummmm" as she was trying to decide what excuse to use, then said "I'm so embarrased." (pause) "And, I have a tummy ache."